Can I have your phone number, please? All in good time, missy! Why don't you ditch these losers and go solo? Because I'm only a small part of the band, and would be a lot less without them. In fact I would be pretty sh1te to be honest. Do you actually know what a hair-cut is? A what...? How long have you been playing guitar for? Well, it was my probation officer who first thought it might help me calm down.... so since I was 16. If you could meet anyone from history, who would it be? I would love to meet many people. Here are the top three: Jesus (on the basis that I'm Christian, yes, but also that we both have long hair and no jobs, so I reckon we'd get on OK); Leonardo da Vinci (just cos he's the man!); and Kurt Kobain (spot the odd one out there... odd being the word!). And, of course, Darius, but I'm already having his baby... with favar beans and a nice chianti! Do you play any other instraments? Yes. I play the banjo, alto saxophone, and krahja (a stringed instrument from Tibet, played with one's testicles). Is it true you all met in a gay club? Contrary to popular belief, this is not the case. Frank (Ben) and I met at college (Frank studying astrophysics, and I, neurology). Jon-Boy, Adam, and I all met at a choir for overprivileged children in New York. Do you have any hobbies? Yes, besides biting the heads off chickens, I enjoy a career in landscape architecture and garden design. This occupies my creative brain whilst I await stardom. How many children do you actually have? Are we talking those that I freely admit to? Well, it must be getting on for 5 by now... I think... hang on... Where do you buy all your clothes? Buy? Why waste money on clothes when people so readily throw them away? I have a strict regime that I stick to: I never pay for clothes and I always get dressed in the dark. Being colourblind (awww, Darius...) I don't worry about coordination. How do you stay in such great shape? I owe it all to the Guinness family and Mr Ronald McDonald.

What make of drums do you prefer? Sonor/Premier, with Evans Heads. What cymbals do you use? Sabian Pro's, Ziljian K's and Sabian HHX's. Why do you wear a brown corduroy jacket? Because it's the cutting edge of Blues Rock fashion. Does Ermin really smoke joints? Oh yes, he puffs away during gigs and has a bowl of Scotch backstage to knock back afterwards. How long have you been playing drums? Since I was 15 and have been studying drumming for the last two years. Who in your opinion is the world's greatest drummer? Buddy Rich. An opinion shared by every drummer out there. Who is your favourite Band and solo artist? Nirvana are my favourite band and my favourite solo artist has to be Bob Dylan. Any previous occupations? Bird watching. Do you have a Police record? Yes, Walking On The Moon. Are you an old man in disguise? Yes. What is your favourite food? Medium-rare steak.

What is your ideal keyboard setup? Korg Triton Pro X, Korg N5, Korg Sigma, Nord Lead, Moog Minimoog, Hammond C3 organ, Fender Rhodes Piano. All controlled by a Roland AX1 with wireless MIDI so I can go and tart around in the crowd! Is it true that you are completely self-taught? Yes, its the only excuse I have for being this bad. Do you play any other instruments? I have been know to manhandle a guitar, suck and blow with varying frequency on the harmonica and melodian. I have also tried my hand at clarinet, sax and violin - but they made such a horrible noise that I thought it was better to cease and desist. I sing as well but only in the company of noone. What would be your words to any budding keyboardist? To stop budding and concentrate on becoming a keyboardist. Are you gay? Geeeez, will everyone stop asking me that! To dispell any rumours, I am as straight as a straight thing but have been known to wander! The cynics will say that I'm just waiting for the right bloke to come along... I will reserve judgement and bite my tongue. What's the deal with your wardrobe? Well, it comprises several delightful little numbers which I can be seen sporting at most gigs. Of the most requested have been my floor-length-fluorescent-marker-pen-pink fleece, furry red Punkyfish top, black and yellow vertical stripy jacket and my brithday suit. I'll guess you'll just have to come along to find out what I'll be wearing next, WON'T YOU! Where have all the flowers gone? Stolen by pixies and taken back to their native homeland. Noone can touch them now. Noone. Do you wear make-up on stage? Only if I look in the mirror before a gig and look rough as a badger's arse! Incidentally, that new Kittensoft toilet tissue --- HOW DO THEY KNOW?!? I wonder whats going on up at Huntingdon Life Sciences these days... Is it true that you lost your virginity to a Scottish mountain goat when you were 13? No, you are getting me confused with Jon-Boy. Check out his FAQ for more details. Who are your idols? None other than Rick Wakeman, Keith Emerson and Jools Holland. It would be a huge oversight not to mention my mentor, Mr. J. J. Wilkins who puts up with my whims, lack of self-confidence but nevertheless die-hard perseverence! If you could be reincarnated as an animal, what would you be? A ball python. Describe your perfect date (this one's for you, Welsh Girl! :-p) July 17th.